I come from a middle-class, moderately conservative joint family. The lineage boasts of bankers, CA’s, doctors, lawyers, teachers et al….Well …I…am….a Salsa Instructor!
Even in my wildest dreams I could never have imagined that I would take up teaching dance professionally!
I come from a family where education receives the utmost importance. Any form of art would be perceived only as a hobby. No further encouragement would be given to it.
My family has always been a service-oriented one. A stable, salaried job was what my family felt would be best for me. I had been trained to follow the herd, so I followed…the grind of Management School followed by a stable job, a good salary….I was on the right track, I was “a suitable boy”…though, not for long.
Even with the money and the perks, I found something a-miss. I was just living my life day in and out, nothing to motivate me, nothing to look forward to. Financially, I was at peace. Internally, I was still unsatisfied. I was unsure about what I wanted and I felt aimless. I had a lot of unanswered questions. The only sure part was that, this routine was not what I wanted for myself. But, I was equally apprehensive about doing anything else…honestly I did not know what else to do, I was bred for this! And now that “I had it all going for me”, I really did not want it.
Maybe I needed a better job ?
So I got myself the fancy, coveted well paying Investment Banking job…yet zilch on satisfaction
The internal turmoil cannot be explained, it’s like a pain which you cannot pin-point. I knew I wasn’t the only one feeling like this, I’ve had conversations a many with my friends over weekend dinners about this struggle, but all was forgotten by the time the bill was settled.
Motivation, primarily in the form of power, position and money is sought after. Mind you, not everyone looks for job satisfaction, even if they do, it could be compromised by any or all of the aforementioned factors. Whereas there are some, who wouldn’t mind drifting away…it’s not that my friends don’t want to do anything about it. Either they’re victims of worldly obligations or simply haven’t reached that tipping point yet…
There comes a time, amidst the chaos there is an explosion of silence…you can’t hear anything, you can’t see anything…all the apprehensions and insecurities cease to trouble you….you just have to spread your wings…and take that leap of faith.